Love or Hate-电影《婚姻故事》

晚上睡不着觉，断断续续看了一小半的电影《婚姻故事》，讲的是两个曾经互相欣赏的男女结婚后，在一起生活了近十年，却又不得不离婚的故事。

不得不——多么无奈的词语，让人想到法国著名演员说过的一句话“没有你不行，有你也不行”。

年少的时候，以为爱情是很简单的事情，只要两个人相爱就够了；后来，发现爱情是世界上最复杂的东西，当你在踏入一段亲密关系的时候，就注定了这段关系之中一定会有权力强弱的较量——无关感情，是赤裸裸的权力。

小女孩才会希冀拥有一场轰轰烈烈的爱情，成年人只想要一段波澜不惊的感情，最好对方能够永远体谅你、包容你、无时无刻不知道你想要的是什么——是谁说的，平平淡淡才是真；又是谁说的，爱一个人就要包容他所有的缺点；还有谁说过的“身无彩蝶双飞翼，心有灵犀一点通”；抑或是“爱一个人就要懂得给他台阶下”。

倘若你做不到这些，那么不好意思，成年人的爱情游戏不适合你。

从前我有一个朋友，不会和身边的室友和女同学相处，常常是觉得自己付出了真心，对方却肆意蹂躏，为此她自己偷偷哭过好几次，觉得大学生活痛苦非凡。后来她说，自从大二的时候和她男朋友在一起之后，她就再也没在乎过那些复杂的同性关系——这是把爱情当做了救命稻草。只是，我确实常常看到她被她男朋友宠溺得像个小公主的模样，但也见识过他们之间激烈的争吵——好的时候如胶似漆，不好的时候抓到什么摔什么、砸电脑、冷战，无所不用其极。

永远都有爱情无法解决的事情，也有事情无法解决的爱情。爱情不是万能的解药，甚至连它自己本身都是摇摇欲坠，你若不抓紧，它不定哪天就被风吹散。

《婚姻故事》的开头，男主和女主分别有一段独白，将对方的好处娓娓道来——

What I love about Nicole:

She makes people feel comfortable about even embarrassing things.

She really listens when someone is talking.

Sometimes she listens too much for too long.

She's a good citizen.

She always knows the right thing to do when it comes to difficult family shit.

I get stuck in my ways,and she knows when to push me and when to leave me alone.

She cuts all our hair.

She's always inexplicably brewing a cup of tea that she doesn't drink.

And it's not easy for her to put away a sock, or close a cabinet，or do adish，but she tries for me.

Nicole grew up in LA around actors and directors, and movies, and TV, and is very close to her mother,Sandra, and Cassie, her sister.

Nicole gives great present. She is a mother who plays, really plays.

She never steps off playing or says it’s too much.

And it must be too much some of the time.

She’s competitive.

She’s amazing at opening jars because of her strong arms, which I’ve always found very sexy.

She keeps the fridge over-full.

No one is ever hungry in our house.

She can drive astick.

After that movie, All Over The Girl, she could have stayed in LA and been a movie star, but she gave that up to do theater with me in New York.

She’s brave. She’s a great dancer. Infectious.

She makes me wish I could dance.

She always says when she doesn’t know something, or hasn’t read a book, or seen a film or a play, whereas I fake it or something like I haven’t seen it in a while.

My crazy ideas are her favorite things to figure out how to execute.

She's my favorite actress.

What I love about Charlie:

Charlie is undaunted.

He never lets other people’s opinions or any setbacks keep him from what he wants to do.

Charlie eats like he’s trying to get it over with and like there won’t be enough food for everyone.

A sandwich is to be strangled while devoured. But he’s incredibly neat, and I rely on him to keep things in order.

He’s energy-conscious. He doesn’t look in the mirror toooften.

He cries easily in movies. He’s very self-sufficient. He can darn asock, and cook himself dinner, and iron a shirt.

He rarely gets defeated, whichI feel like I always do.

Charlie takes all of my moods steadily.

He doesn’tgive in to them or make me feel bad about them.

He’s a great dresser. He never looks embarrassing, which is hard for a man.

He’s very competitive. He lovesbeing a dad.

He loves all things you’re supposed to hate, like tantrums, thewaking up at night.

It’s almost annoying how much he likes it, but... then,it’s mostly nice.

He disappears into his own world. He and Henry are alike inthat way.

He can tell people when they have food in their teeth or on theirface in a way that doesn’t make them feel bad.

Charlie is self-made.

His parents...I only met them once but he told me there was a lot of alcohol and some violence in his childhood.

He moved to New York from Indiana with no safety net, and now he’s more New Yorker than any New Yorker.

He’s brilliant at creating family out of whoever is around.

With the theater company, he cast aspell that made everyone feel included.

No one, not even an intern, was unimportant.

He could remember all the inside jokes.

He’s extremely organized and thorough.

He’s very clear about what he wants, unlike me, who can’t always tell.

——多么温暖的开头，那么多的生活小细节，是只有深爱着的两个人才会感受得到的；即使有点小瑕疵，在爱人的眼中也是可爱的。

可是这其实只是双方在濒临离婚时求助心理诊所，未完成心理医生布置的任务而写给彼此的信——他们甚至没有机会当着对方的面念出来。

怎么就走到了这一步？原本一见钟情的两人，一个是演员，一个是舞台剧导演，本该是天造地设羡煞旁人的一对，却双双走上了离婚法庭。那些爱是真的，但那些互相伤害也是真的，即使刚刚诅咒过让他去死，却又忍不住在下一秒抱着他的双腿哭泣。

谁知道呢，原来爱情里有这么多令人不齿的东西。

原本是一名电影演员、有着大好前途的Nicole，为了丈夫Charlie搬到了纽约，她演他的舞台剧，他从和她日常的对话中都能获得灵感，继而创作出叫座的剧目，然而Nicole却渐渐成为一个“失去了光彩的女演员”，Charlie则愈发崭露头角。渐渐地，Nicole开始觉得自己的付出得不到应有的回馈，她成了亲密关系中弱势的一方，最触动我的一句台词，是她向旁人诉说的那句委屈：“如果他能给我个大大的拥抱，对我说‘宝贝，我为你的冒险感到无比激动，我当然想让你拥有一片属于自己的天地’，那么我们可能就不必离婚了。但是，他嘲笑我的梦想，像往常一样嫉妒我。”

可悲的是，亲密关系中强势的一方，永远不会大发慈悲去解决弱者的困境。作为弱者的Nicole，她唯一的杀手锏，就是离婚——这是她唯一能够伤害到对方的东西。多么讽刺啊，我曾爱过你，现在也依然爱着，但，拿出刀子，是我唯一的选择。

我们在很多爱情电影里见证过美好爱情的开端，最开始的时候，爱情是带着神秘和朦胧感的，说不清道不明，但让人无法自拔；最后的时候，爱情走到了终结，但我们发现最后剩下的，仍然只有它——它是我们在经历了所有的撕扯、诅咒、清算之后，仍然无法被抵消掉的东西，像是茶杯里最后的渣滓、茶末，它曾经是茶的一部分，但你已经无法喝下去，当然，它也没有了被喝的价值。

爱情，总是有太多的困境。有人与我患难与共，对我洞若观火；却又让我胆战心惊，痛不欲生——

Somebody need me too much

Somebody know me too well

Somebody pull me up short

And put me through hell

And give me support

For being alive

Somebody hold me too close

Somebody hurt me too deep

Somebody sit in my chair

And ruin my sleep

And make me aware of being alive

Being alive